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Support group to focus on how parenting affects adults

By Deborah Moon

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How parenting in general, and Jewish parenting in particular, affects adults is the focus of a new parenting group developed and facilitated by Jewish educator and parent Deborah Eisenbach-Budner.

Parents have the option of either of two group times—9:30-11 a.m. on Wednesdays or Thursdays from Sept. 17 through February. Each group meets every other week at Havurah Shalom in Northwest Portland. The group is open to mothers, fathers, Jews and non-Jews. It is free for members of the Reconstructionist synagogue. Non-members are asked to make a donation to Havurah. For the sake of continuity, participants are asked to participate as fully as they are able throughout series.

The Hebrew word for parent, Horah, is connected to the word for instruction, Torah, and the word for teacher, morah, said Eisenbach-Budner.

“It can be a great blessing as well as a burden to play such crucial roles—teacher, giver of life instruction—in our children’s lives,” she said. “How can we keep some sense of the blessing, and our own intentions in parenting, as we do the work of providing for the daily needs of our families? How do we keep a bit of vision? What can Judaism and Jewish community and culture offer us in this stage of life?”

Horim provides support, intellectual and spiritual stimulation and community for parents who are creating Jewish homes and families. Parents of 0- to 6-year-olds will find it especially helpful, according to Eisenbach-Budner.

Each group will meet every other week to focus on a particular topic of interest to the group and/or discuss a short reading from one of the following books: “Parenting As a Spiritual Journey: Deepening Ordinary and Extraordinary Events into Sacred Occasions,” by Nancy Fuchs-Kreimer; “Becoming a Jewish Parent: How to Explore Spirituality and Tradition with Your Children,” by Daniel Gordis; “Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting,” by Myla Kabat-Zinn and Jon Kabat-Zinn; and “How to Be a Jewish Parent: A Practical Handbook for Family Life,” by Anita Diamant.

Eisenbach-Budner said that Rabbi Fuchs-Kreimer’s book will be the primary text for the series. She said the Reconstructionist rabbi interviewed hundreds of parents from different religions about how parenting changes adults.

“It’s not just about Jewish parenting,” said Eisenbach-Budner. “It’s about the internal work of being parents.”

“We can only help our kids feel engaged positively as Jews if we as adults model that,” she said. “Most adults need to do a little figuring out for themselves.”

For questions or to RSVP by Sept. 10, call the Havurah at 503-248-4662.