Planners can ease stress of big day

By Polina Olsen

Choose flowers, find a videographer, hire musicians, buy blue and gold invitations; Auntie Miriam is angry—she wants a backyard reception but Grandma insists on a palace. While many couples enjoy handling the details and diplomacy involved in their wedding, others prefer the services of a professional planner who can carry them from soup to nuts.

According to Jennifer Greenberg, co-owner of Jen Elle Event Design & Flowers (503-789-6978, www.jen-elle.com) and part-time special events coordinator for the Jewish Federation of Greater Portland, a planner can help couples choose the right vendors, mediate disagreements and enjoy their special day.

“A wedding planner helps design the look and feel of the entire event,” Greenberg says. “There are timing issues, the flow of the event and so many details.”

Family events are often emotionally loaded, Greenberg says, and each person may want something different. A wedding planner stands in the middle and graciously represents her primary clients, the bride and groom. Planners handle last minutes emergencies—the caterer didn’t order enough glasses—or questions that are sure to arise.

According to Greenberg, there are many ways to incorporate Jewish tradition and still make each wedding unique.

“It can sing out about who you are and the beautiful family history,” she says. “That’s something I love about Jewish weddings.”

Donna Page gained years of experience at her Simply Delicious Catering business in Eugene, including working on numerous Temple Beth Israel weddings with the late Rabbi Myron Kinberg. She opened D´Page Events (503-348-5380) in Portland two months ago.

Even a moderate wedding ($10,000-$15,000) takes about 250 hours to plan, according to Page. Professional planners repeatedly deal with vendors and can negotiate discounts.

“So many Jewish wedding etiquettes are coming back into play,” she says. From where to buy a handmade ketubah to the groom’s bachelor party cake, Page guides the couple through every “panic attack of the moment.”

While Greenberg and Page offer services for both the ceremony and reception, many synagogues provide a planner for the wedding ceremony. At Neveh Shalom, Event Coordinator and Clergy Assistant Marci Atkins is always ready to help.

“I meet with the family for their rehearsal, go through the staging and coordinate with musicians,” she says. “On the day, I move people from pre- to post-wedding festivities. Everyone gets down the aisle at the right time with the right music.”

Atkins provides guidance on traditional Jewish customs like the groom’s tisch, where male buddies “help” the groom say words of Torah with constant interruption, jokes and song. Later, Atkins moves the crowd for the ketubah signing and the bedekan, or veiling. Here the groom checks he’s marrying the right bride.

“We make sure there’s wine in the Kiddush cup and the rabbi has the license and ketubah,” says Jemi Kostiner Mansfield, education and life cycle administrator for Congregation Beth Israel. “Unless you’re a very organized bride, it’s hard to run things. We make sure everyone knows what’s going to happen during the wedding day.”