Gay Orthodox rabbi explains his journey

By Anne Koppel Conway

Long before Steven Greenberg—Orthodox rabbi, author, teacher, lecturer—announced to the world in 1999 that he was gay or even realized that he was, he chose to become Orthodox.

Sponsored by the second annual Gus and Libby Solomon Lecture Series, Greenberg—a natural storyteller—spoke about his book, "Wrestling with God and Men: Homosexuality in the Jewish Tradition" and the issues raised by it to a crowd of more than 200 at Portland State University, Jan. 23, at an event rescheduled from Jan. 18 due to the snowstorm.

The first openly gay Orthodox rabbi, Greenberg is a senior teaching fellow at CLAL—The National Jewish Center for Learning and Leadership in New York City. He had a Conservative upbringing until age 15 when he dropped in on an Orthodox Shabbat service.

Not understanding what was going on, he found it "dull and boring," until he recalled, the rabbi with an upper-crust English accent said to him, "Young man, do you have a place for Shabbos lunch?"

The young man from "the Velveeta generation" found himself entering "an English country home in the middle of Columbus," Ohio.

The volatile, charismatic rabbi invited the teenager to study Torah with him "over tea and oranges." It was an offer the teen couldn't refuse.

"I was welcomed into two communities—a vertical one with three to four thousand years of incredible wisdom and a horizontal one" involving the local Orthodox community.

The rabbi brought the young Greenberg into all aspects, some poignant, of the congregation's activities. At age 16, he was asked to go to a funeral home. For three hours he, in tears, recited psalms over the body of a woman he had not known.

In 1976 at age 20, realizing he had a strong attraction to another young man and feeling confused, he sought the advice of the Israeli sage, Rabbi Yosef Sholom Eliashiv, who Greenberg said is now "the single-most right-wing voice in the Haredi, ultra-Orthodox, community."

Greenberg said he remembers the conversation thus: he told the Rav, "Master, I am attracted to both men and women, what shall I do?" The Rav told him, "My dear one, then you have twice the power of love." He then cautioned, "Use it wisely."

He entered rabbinical school believing he was bisexual. He wanted a traditional marriage with children, so he "dated every available Orthodox Jewish woman in New York," but none of these women were his beshert,  soul mate.

After many failed relationships and after taking his first job as a rabbi, he admitted to himself that he was gay.

Today he said accepts all biblical texts, including Leviticus 18:23: "Do not lie with a male as one lies with a woman, it is an abhorrence."

Greenberg said he finally came to believe that the text is not about him. It has to do with violence one party does to another and not about mutually consenting adults.

"Almost every reference to homosexual sex in the Bible has to do with violence," he said.

His book is the culmination of his 10-year struggle to reconcile his two conflicting identities—Orthodox rabbi and gay man.

At the audience's microphone a man asked, "What are your experiences addressing traditional Jewish audiences?"

Those "conversations are less public," Greenberg replied. When he was invited to speak at one Orthodox community, "that rabbi was fired."

After the lecture Greenberg said that he chose to go to Congregation Kesser Israel, an Orthodox synagogue, for services rather than to Neveh Shalom as first scheduled.

"I am an Orthodox rabbi," he said. "I prefer to daven, pray, in Orthodox synagogues. I wanted the rabbi and community of Kesser to understand that while it is surely their prerogative to take a principled stand on homosexuality, they cannot zone gay and lesbian Jews out of the community; we are not going to help them to erase us by default. For me it was important to be present in the community that prefers me to be silent or to leave. I will do neither."

Although, Orthodox communities may not agree with him, he feels that "empathy is growing."

With dialog and discussion, he's working toward what he says gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered Orthodox Jews want—to be welcome in their Orthodox communities.

Greenberg's goal is "acceptance as a policy," but he feels it's OK to "disagree on the rationale." he recalls one rabbi saying, "I don't understand. So I'll let you and G-d work it out."

Lecture attendee Dick Solomon, whose parents Gus and Libby (the series' namesakes) were strong advocates of social justice throughout their lifetimes, said Greenberg was "a terrific choice for a speaker." In memory of his parents, Dick provided four years of funding for this lecture series.

The Harold Schnitzer Family Program in Judaic Studies at PSU is working to endow the series, said Aaron Pearlman, community outreach director of the program.

Greenberg also spoke at the University of Oregon, sponsored by the Hillel, and to the Jewish Federation of Greater Portland's Young Adult Division. At Congregation Neveh Shalom he spoke at two events. Following the Jewish Film Festival's showing of "Trembling Across America," co-sponsored by Congregation P'nai Or, he participated in a panel discussion. In addition to the groups mentioned, Greenberg's visit was supported by Keshet Jewish Social Group and the Community of Welcoming Congregations.

He has a B.A. from Yeshiva University and his rabbinical ordination from Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary.