Telushkin offers insights at Shaarie Torah

By Amy Kaufman

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Three thousand years evaporated as Rabbi Joseph Telushkin brought the ethics of Judaism home to an audience of 250 April 29 at Congregation Shaarie Torah.

As popular as he is scholarly, the best-selling author demonstrated his unique ability to interpret original texts such as the Talmud and illustrate them with the perfect anecdote.

Best known for "Jewish Literacy," Telushkin has written 14 books. "The Nine Questions People Ask About Judaism," which he wrote with talk-show host Dennis Prager, is called "one of the most influential Jewish books published in the last 30 years."

Now Telushkin has embarked on a three-volume series that will constitute "the first major code of Jewish ethics to be written in the English language," according to Crown Publishing Group. The first volume, "A Code of Jewish Ethics: You Shall Be Holy," sold out at the Shaarie Torah event.

The book is about "the virtues we need to cultivate our own goodness," said Telushkin, who is "trying to gather all the Jewish ethical teachings in one place to make them more accessible."

The goal of Judaism is to lead a good and ethical life, Telushkin said, while ritual "guarantees Jewish continuity."

"We all have to struggle with our own evil inclinations," he said. "It's very important for people to know their weaknesses, but it's even more important to know your strengths, because that's going to enable you to overcome your weaknesses."

Telushkin said we tend to be more compassionate and loving when we have a good opinion of ourselves.  "I've learned you shouldn't speak lashon hara against yourself," he said, adding a new dimension to the term traditionally defined as accurate information that tends to denigrate others.

Judaism teaches that "humility is a great virtue," Telushkin said, pointing out that Moses is described in the Torah by only one word—humble.

Humility is different from low self-esteem, said Telushkin. "Humility inspires. Low self-esteem is debilitating. I wonder if there has been an abusive parent in history who had high self-esteem."

A father of four, he said "there are few more immoral lessons" than the example set by parents who never apologize to their children.

Telushkin said he "couldn't imagine anything more tragic" than the prospect of his children feuding as adults. He told the story of two brothers who were reconciled at the end of their lives, when one of them decided to do "what our parents would have wanted."

"I always advise people to ask themselves, when you are uncertain whether you are taking the right action, ask yourself, 'What is motivating me to act this way?'" Telushkin said. "The answer will usually determine the appropriate action."

Telushkin gave a succinct prescription for avoiding anger.

"If you follow these guidelines, I guarantee you will never cause a break in a relationship in anger. Restrict your anger to the incident that provoked it. Don't use 'always' or 'never,' though you may lose the moral high ground. Speak calmly. You can't speak fairly and they can't hear fairly when you're angry."

Telushkin defined the three forms of forgiveness in Judaism and then expressed an idea that he said "demarcates Jewish thinking from Christianity."

"One of Jesus' innovative teachings is 'love your enemy,'" he said. "There is no teaching like that in Judaism."

He described a church service attended by President Clinton after the Oklahoma City bombing of 1995, when Minister John Miller "took out a large photo of Timothy McVeigh and invited congregants to forgive him."

Telushkin noted that McVeigh was not only unrepentant, but "he said something I had never heard before. He referred to the children as 'collateral damage.'"

Similarly, Telushkin said he objected to Pope John Paul II's prayer for the victims of 9/11, which included the phrase, "May God show mercy and forgiveness on the authors of the attack."

Telushkin nevertheless said he admired the pope because he had put a note in the Western Wall to ask forgiveness for the church's role during the Holocaust and had established diplomatic relations with Israel.

Referring to the plane that crashed in Pennsylvania on 9/11, Telushkin asked, "What do you think were the last words the victims heard? 'Allahu Akbar, God is great.' People get arrogant when doing things in God's name. Terrorists believe the wrong they do is good. That's why terrorists are beyond repentance."

The Rabbi Geller Lecture Series, now in its fourth year at Shaarie Torah, features internationally recognized, innovative speakers. The series is funded through a generous donation by Ruben and Liz Menashe.

Rabbi Telushkin was ordained at Yeshiva University and resides in New York City. A senior associate with the National Jewish Center for Learning and Leadership, he is the spiritual leader of the Synagogue for the Performing Arts in Los Angeles.